Happy Due Date, Georgia

Dear Georgia,

February 20th. A year ago.

I will always wonder what you would have looked like and what great things you would have done.

I have been reflecting on this day and there are so many things I could feel but I am choosing joy. I am choosing gratitude. Georgia, your existence mattered. We loved you. We love you. We are so grateful for the 12 weeks we had with you. Even though the time was so short, you brought us so much joy.

I am so grateful that we have seen the light. The tunnel of sadness from all the pain that we thought would never end – it gradually dissipated. One day we woke up and realized, "hey, we are okay now," because we know you are with our Heavenly Father.

I read an article a while back about how a baby's cells remain in mothers for years. And that ultimately the cells of older siblings can be passed onto the younger siblings via the mother. The idea that I am carrying your tiny cells in me even though you are no longer with us brings me so much comfort. The timing of that article was impeccable – what an amazing thing for a grieving mother to read.

Georgia, you have the most joyful little sister. Her smile radiates her entire face and can stop me in my tracks. I’d like to think it is partially because she carries little pieces of your soul within her. We are so grateful for her.

Sweet baby, I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).

Love,
Momma

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
― E.E. Cummings